Indian Love & the Glorification of Suffering

You are a good parent, only if you suffer through parenthood. You are a good child only if you endure the suffering of a full-time caretaker.

In most parts of the world, where most of the aging individuals are making preparations for their retirement with dignity and independence, we live in a part of world where only suffering and endurance proves your love.

Are you only a good child if you take care of your elderly or sick parents yourselves? Does it make you a bad child for leaving them in someone else's care - even if they are well cared for. Even if the supposed child cannot afford to quit their job or responsibilities to be a full time care taker?

Can a parent birthing a child and raising it with total devotion, be equated to a child taking care of a parent at their old age - especially by being physically present - in a world which does not wait for anyone. Where deadlines do not wait, even for the people who are sick themselves.

Losing your prime in taking care of others and being dependent on others after your prime - is more of a bane than a boon.

Is it so wrong to take such a decision to preserve one's mental or physical health. In Indian culture, why is it always enduring the most difficult thing considered as an act of love, why not love yourselves as well? Is that so wrong?

Note: These questions were inspired by seeing a post on social media where a daughter approaching an old age home with her mother, was confronted & morally policed by a random stranger. This post aims to create awareness about making our retirement plans, not encouraging abandonment.